lunedì 13 luglio 2009

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Giorni in cui cammino a testa bassa, annusando l'aria, sperando di ritrovarla elettrica e pericolosa come mi era sembrato capitasse sempre, in questi ultimi tempi. E, invece, mi trovo a sbattere il muso contro pomeriggi piatti quanto un foglio.
Deambulo sotto il sole di luglio, in una Bologna che fa altro che sbadigliarsi addosso. Sono il perfetto protagonista di un film di zombie. E no, non sono quello con la motosega.
Su e giù per Bologna, armato di un walkman a cassette che - come me - è miracolosamente sopravvissuto alla fredda legge della catena alimentare e dell'evoluzione della specie.
E' strano rimpiangere tutte le volte in cui mi sono spaventato nelle settimane scorse.

Sul 36, per via degli Orti, siamo una tribù di sconosciuti che si squadrano e si prendono le misure a vicenda. Un tacito patto di non belligeranza ci permette di non rivolgerci nemmeno la parola, di far finta di non esistere l'uno per l'altro.
Una signora raccomanda a un'altra, seduta davanti a lei, che non dobbiamo dimenticarci dei meridionali.
Non è giusto dimenticarci dei meridionali. Di quanto siano ladri e disonesti, dice.
L'altra signora annuisce entusiasta: certo, non è che adesso tutto passa in secondo piano perché ci sono gli albanesi.
Proprio accanto a me, una coppia di nord africani le fissa entrambe, con la faccia di sentirle senza ascoltarle. Sono un uomo e una donna: lei dorme sulla spalla di lui. Non è una ragazza incredibilmente bella, ma vederla sorridere nel sonno mi mette una strana sensazione di tranquillità, addosso.
Dall'altra fila di sedili, un bamboccio ciccione sta parlando al cellulare.
«Perchè io quando mi incazzo, mi incazzo», dice.
Resta zitto per un attimo. «C'ho degli amici, io».

Guardo fuori dal finestrino: ovviamente non riesco a capire dove siamo. Non ci riesco mai. Riconosco la penultima fermata: quello che c'è da lì alla prima è tutto paesaggio che si srotola via via. L'autobus si ferma, caricando la prossima infornata di persone.
Una ragazza con una cascata di capelli ricci, rossi, si ferma vicino a me. Mi volto verso il finestrino, che magari non la metto a disagio. Nel riflesso, la sua faccia ha la pelle bruciata di lentiggini e abbronzatura.
Si mette a disegnare su un taccuino, con una matita e una gomma che tira fuori da una tracolla marrone.
Tre, quattro linee per buttar giù l'interno dell'autobus in cui stiamo viaggiando. Un paio di graffi e l'ha già popolato delle due vecchie razziste di merda, della coppia di neri, del bimbo che ha gli amici.
Mi picchietta il dorso della mano con la matita.
«Ti piace?», mi fa.
«Sì, molto», le dico. E ovviamente, mi sto vergognando come un cane, per essere stato scoperto mentre sbirciavo.
«E comunque, scusa», aggiungo. Tanto per.
«Di cosa?»
«Di averti guardato...», faccio io, che mi sento sempre più stupido.
«Ah», risponde lei. La vedo corrugare la fronte, come se il concetto fosse troppo complicato. Poi sorride e torna a indicarmi il foglio.
«Chi uccidiamo, di questi?»
«Uccidiamo?».
«Sì. Chi facciamo sparire. Ma dico proprio sparire per sempre».

Resto a guardarla, cercando di trovare una battuta abbastanza a tono.
«Vedi? non fanno niente tutto il giorno e poi dormono anche», dice la vecchietta razzista, indicando alla sua degna comare la coppia di neri.
Al diavolo la battuta a tono.
«Senti, fai schiattare 'sta vecchia del cazzo, per favore?».
Scrolla le spalle. «Ok».
La cancella dal foglio. Mentre lo fa mi chiede: «Ti piacciono i film di Charlie Chaplin?».
«Mai visti molti». Non riesco a cavarmi la progressiva sensazione di essere sprofondato in un episodio di Twilight Zone.
And now, Rod Serling!
«Io vado matta per Il Grande Dittatore. EHI! - sbotta lei, alzando la voce - A QUALCUNO PIACE CHARLIE CHAPLIN? QUELLO LI', IL TIZIO CON LA BOMBETTA CHE SOMIGLIA A HITLER!»
Torno a guardare dal finestrino.
La nord africana addormentata si sveglia per un momento. Si guarda intorno per un istante, poi si riaddormenta sulla spalla del marito, che le fa una carezza sulla guancia. Il ragazzino ciccione smette per un attimo di minacciare la gente al telefono. Poi ricomincia subito. La vecchietta brontola qualcosa e sistema la spesa sul sedile vuoto davanti a lei.

«Vabbeh, non è che adesso deve starvi addosso perché somiglia a Hitler», fa la ragazza vicino a me.
«Ma a te perchè i suoi film piacciono tanto?», le chiedo.
«Boh, fanno ridere».

Solo adesso mi rendo conto che quel sedile dove c'é un sacco della spesa, una volta era pieno di una vecchietta razzista.

«Ehi... hai visto chi è sceso?», dico alla ragazza, con un sorriso che mi esce un po' stirato.
«Non è scesa. E' morta», risponde lei, con l'aria più naturale del mondo.

42 commenti:

Raven ha detto...

Ovviamente, sappiamo bene che la signora in questione non è morta, non può essere morta.
Avrebbe lasciato un cadavere, perlomeno.

Invece PUFF... niente. Solo un ricordo.
E vuoi sentire una cosa buffa? Quel ricordo esiste solo nella tua testa.

Al di fuori del tuo spazio mentale, quella signora è come se non fosse mai nata - è un po' diverso che essere morta. E non ha avuto figli. E non ha chiamato l'ambulanza quella volta che la vicina è stata male.

Puff... svanita. Resettata. Cancellata retroattivamente.

Ti ricordi se per caso la ragazza dai capelli ricci aveva disegnato anche te? se sì... hai notato qualche differenza, qualche dettaglio un po' fuori posto?

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